I wonder what he’s thinking as he pushes the lawnmower 

Now that he’s 76 and life finally moves a little slower 

He’s sage enough to wear those big puffy earmuffs 

Along with a hat 

And depending on the day, sunscreen 

All his life he’s avoided handcuffs (at least to my knowledge)

The setting is apt 

He’s been under the dermatologist’s gleam 

And in the dentist’s chair 

He’s lost a lot of weight 

The frame beneath his plaid shirt and navy pants is bare 

The picnic table in the yard where I grew up looks quite beleaguered itself 

No one dares to sit on it 

So for falling pine needles and squirrels it is a shelf

The hum of the mower is somehow soothing 

Like snorkeling 

The world disappears and you can finally hear yourself breathing 

So I don’t interrupt him 

Though I drove all this way to give him a gift on Father’s Day

The card contains some ultrasound photos of his granddaughter 

Sometimes I wonder if he’ll live much longer 

My mom, who forgets her words 

Said there’s spots on his ribs, the doctors are sure 

I think back to when me and my brother were kids 

My dad would take us out in the kayak

And then we’d eat Ramen noodles for dinner when we got back 

He’d clip Kermit’s arms to the ceiling fan in our room 

And then adjust the wall switch to make him go “Zoooooommm!”

It always got me and my brother laughing 

And I find these days I’m just asking 

To be a good steward of the time 

And not even so much to ask for more 

The lawnmower keeps humming 

He pushes it with a soft smile

Up and down, in neat rows 

And he reminds me of a child

Snorkeling 

On Father’s Day this is what he wants to be doing 

I leave the big teal gift bag on the porch 

My mother complains that the day is a scorch 

She goes to call for him 

But I say to let him be 

And I feel that every time I drive away, I’m never knowing

If it’ll be the last 

I hear it now – the lawnmower keeps humming 

Like that comforting ceiling fan from my past

I wonder on the drive home what we’re all becoming 

Later that night, my father sends me a text 

And says, “Today was a blast. You’re glowing, you’re next.”