Lately I’ve been thinking about the Titanic

Especially when I try to go to sleep 

I dream of being submerged in the freezing ocean

It’s not romantic 

I cling to things I can’t keep

I hear screaming and see commotion 

To know that death is inescapable 

I turn side to side 

My elbows and hips crack 

My dog and husband are at my back 

What if there were only one lifeboat seat for all of us?

Neither of them makes a fuss 

They tell me to go ahead 

Don’t they know they’ll end up dead?

As the good times flash in my memory 

I realize we’ll all become a part of history 

How interesting that money and looks, career cannot save 

Nor can life vests

Ice cold water rushes in and what I’m floating on gives way 

Death, like floodwaters, is insatiable 

I like to imagine I’m capable 

Strong enough to endure or to swim to safety 

To even save a few others, maybe 

Smoke and doubt hover 

In my dreams, the ocean is gaping 

It doesn’t care my class or if I have a pass 

The water rises

“Why me?” I ask

But so does everyone else (except my dog, interestingly – he’s thrilled the ocean has finally come to him!) – every friend in my life, my parents, my patients 

I watch as my beloved dog delights in another swim

There’s a lesson there – he doesn’t quite comprehend 

But on second thought, maybe he is smarter than we all think 

Death follows no equations 

We’re all gonna sink 

Some things are not supposed to happen 

Like when your ride splits in two 

Or when there’s not enough 

Or when the doctor spills tragic news 

When you lose all your stuff 

It’s a matter of time, like the sinking Titanic 

We’ll all end up on the bottom of the Atlantic 

My heart pounds like I’m running a race 

My alarm clock sounds as the ship finally goes down 

And my tennis elbow aches 

I was trying to hold on to the railings of the stern 

All the while my dog and husband sleep through 

Did I escape?

They look so peaceful there on the mattress 

I observe 

When it comes to finitude, maybe I’m the one who is tactless