On an evening stroll 

There’s a pretty family walking 

A girl on her mini bicycle 

I think about my goals

As my husband and I are talking

Strangely, I don’t feel I’m missing out – even a little

When I see women with babies on their hips

Moms pushing strollers 

Or waiting at the bus stop

Exhaustion is what I see 

Maybe there’s a part of my brain missing

For no longing within me is stirred 

I’m going on 37 now and yeah, I’m pretty sure 

It’s not for me 

Will I look back with regret when I’m 90?

If we’re being fair, the itch was never there 

Society can’t sway me 

Nor can the church 

My own mother might be hurt 

But something I’ve learned is that hell is made when you live for other’s opinions 

I’ve asked all the questions myself: Am I selfish? Will I have regret? What in the end will be left? Worst of all: Am I disappointing God?

And I’ve addressed all my gremlins 

What about intuition?

Show me a puppy and I’ll melt like butter

I can recognize any breed without a stutter

And I can identify a dog’s cry – “I wanna come in” or “Let’s go!”

Fur babies do move my soul 

Mine just turned seven 

I’ll likely outlive him 

But I thank God that with my baby I feel like I’ve gotten to experience heaven

And unconditional love 

As I write this, the sky above is baby blue and pink 

Maybe I overthink 

But tonight I’ll enjoy 9 hours of sleep 

Tomorrow I’ll run and take my Billy to the beach 

We’ll enjoy whatever we want to eat 

And maybe I’ll take my husband out for a drink

Some may say I’m crazy 

But we’re dying

And I’m not missing out on anything

Maybe just the sound of babies crying