I think about you once a year

Is that how much you think of me?

I set up my tree because Christmas is here

I wonder how much time I’ve spent worrying needlessly about your opinion

Glittery snowmen and tin balls

Are housed in a box in the attic till the end of fall

Each relic is like a kind of omen

Reminding me that time doesn’t ever stop

11 years have gone by in a flash

In the present, everyone’s hair is gray and get-togethers are like a car crash

There’s a pearly wedding cake ornament

On a thick branch it makes me ponder how the last 11 years were spent

On another I hang that sparkly basketball from #10

I hope that little girl is still as sweet as she was back then

The German shepherd with angel wings

Makes me cry and realize I can’t hold on to anything

The ceramic Eskimo given by my mom gets my gremlins stirring

Especially as they hang next to the baby in a manger given by my aunt

Am I disappointing my mother because I don’t find babies alluring

There’s a large ceramic angel from my best friend’s grandmother

The wings have broken off

That lady has since gone to heaven

I still set her near the top

For some reason, seeing her makes me shudder

From a former co-worker is a clay stocking

Was I kind enough to her?

Why is Christmas torture?

I love the cheap glittery cardinals I got on sale at Walgreens

I bought them one morning after Christmas on the way to the hospital

Back when my husband and I were always freezing

The wooden red panda is an emblem of my husband’s career

Come full circle at the zoo just this year

I hang grinch paws holding a heart, handmade

More co-workers in a ceaseless wake

I hang a plastic green book with the cover open – also given by my aunt and held by an angel

Written in crisp font: “Unto us a child is born”

I really think about that and then I don’t feel so torn

Those words hang from a sturdy branch, they are my anchor

On my $30 artificial tree

It’s strange how every year all these ornaments tell a story

They’re reminders of good times, of people, of work, or mistakes

Of how we all so badly need a Savior

Which is why I hold on to them, even the ones that break

And even the ominous snowmen

Cheap but meaningful keepsakes

I look at them all dangling, shining, pretty right there

And for the people and stories behind them, I say a prayer