Have you ever felt stupid? Stupid isn’t a nice word. Ignorant, incompetent, unintelligent? A doofus, an ignoramus, a fool? It’s not a good feeling, especially when you feel that way in an environment in which you’re supposed to know what you’re doing. In front of other people.

This happened to me yesterday, and I’m still feeling bad about it. But, I figured I’d find the plus side in looking like an idiot. It means there’s room for learning. I discussed something work-related with a co-worker yesterday. I told her my situation. Her response was not to call me an idiot. She didn’t have to. I very much got the impression she thought I was one by her suddenly stern tone and set jaw that’s normally a carefree smile. “We learned in school that in that situation, you’re supposed to…” “You need to do such and such right now….” When I discussed the same issue with another (more senior) colleague, her response was a little different. She didn’t make me feel quite as ignorant, but nonetheless I realized quickly that I needed to do some research for myself on what to do about my situation. I went home and read up on professional websites about the actual definition of what was going on as well as what my responsibilities are in that situation. I learned a lot! So, next time around I’ll know what to do.

Ego. The ego is revealed when one is made to look like a fool. Let it die. I’m sure politicians have had plenty of practice with this. It’s tough, but I think it’s good to be okay with failure and with being wrong. Again, it’s an opportunity for growth. My husband is really good at this. One of the places we learned it best is on the jiu jitsu mats. Most white belts (unskilled fighters) think that walking into a gym or into a street fight and sparring it out with the biggest, baddest guy is not so hard. Well, we learned it is. We often watched (and experienced ourselves at one point) new fighters try to compete with the best guy in our gym, who is now a black belt. It was so funny to watch. They were helpless against him. He has too many moves, too much experience, too much strength and skill to be outdone by someone who has put in no time. But I once saw a video of this same fighter from when he was a semi-novice blue belt years before. He was back then getting whooped by a black belt himself. But you know what’s cool, he had to squash his ego at some point in order to learn from that higher belt. I know we learned a lot from him. Being teachable is really important. One has to be okay looking like a buffoon in order to become good at something.

In college the brightest kid in our anatomy & physiology class would say, “No one’s born knowing anything.” He was so smart, went on to be a doctor. He put in the work. He said he became knowledgeable because people would ask questions and he’d want to know the answers so he’d go read up on the subject matter. Likewise, it’s comforting to know that Michael Jordan at one point in his life couldn’t shoot a basketball or even jump, for that matter. Warren Buffet wasn’t born knowing how to read or add or subtract. A lot of millionaires will tell you they learned some hard lessons and fell a lot on the road to success.

Another thing, on par with ego and looking dumb: It’s not about you. It’s not about me. This is good news. Something that’s helped me with anxiety is realizing that most people are too busy texting or thinking about their own problems to pay attention to me. So why do I care and worry so much about what they think I’m doing? Make your mistake, learn from it, and move on. And here’s something else: we all make mistakes. No one is perfect. I really think the key is in how we respond to them.

So, I learned from my little ignorance escape recently that there’s good in being enlightened, however I may come to be enlightened – whether others point out my stupidity or God convicts me of it or I make some bigtime mistake. It’s a chance to learn, to get repetitions. Just like in jiu jitsu, if someone catches me in a collar choke once, they shouldn’t get me with it the next time around because I’ve learned what to look out for. And I realize that others know things I don’t. It’s okay to be vulnerable in their presence. We live in the information age: look things up, be teachable, be humble. The good news is we can learn. And hopefully not remain ignoramuses. ~