There’s a lot of danger in this world. And there’s a lot of unstable people roaming the earth, preying on innocent people. One of my favorite shows is Dateline. I like it because it reveals these stories. I don’t think it’s good to dwell on the negatives of humanity, but I think it’s important to “know the darkness” as Jocko Willink, former Navy SEAL, puts it. I like to put myself in the place of the victims in these stories. I think about what I would do if I were in their shoes (I know, easier said than done). It’s sad that so many people have experienced horrible things: rape, attempted murder/assault, domestic violence, verbal abuse, neglect, robbery, identity theft, kidnapping, etc. We’ve acknowledged that it exists. What do we do about it?

I believe it was Dr. Jordan Peterson, clinical psychologist, who said something that really stood out to me: if you want to make your kids safe, make them competent. Of course, you could be the most competent, intelligent, socially savvy, healthiest, fittest – fill in the blank – person and bad things can just happen. But in watching Dateline and the news and just observing some basic patterns of bad things happening, these are the lessons I’ve gleaned in prevention.

#1 Approach alcohol with extreme caution. Nearly every horror story starts with, “She was at a bar” or “they’d been drinking.” Alcohol, especially intoxication, impairs judgement. It’s also hard to believe anyone in court when their statement is prefaced with “we were drinking.” And inebriation especially doesn’t mix well when one is a 90-pound female walking around in new territory at 2 am with strangers.

#2 Pursue physical fitness. Being able to run away from an assailant is a great form of self-defense. This is one of the reasons I suffer through speed workouts. Being able to book it for 800 meters (1/2 mile) or even a full mile is a plus. Run. Also, be able to pull yourself up and bridge and squat. Basic movement patterns that should be part of every workout program.

#3 Consider martial arts training. Here’s the thing: It’s a BAD day if you have to actually use a muay thai kick or a headlock escape or a boxing punch. These situations are usually avoidable. But it helps to know some basics. I trained jiu jitsu for a few years (quit because the injury risk was more than I was willing to take on). I did earn a blue belt but frankly the best training came in the basic white belt or beginner course. One of the best moves I think anyone could learn is what’s called trap and roll. This is especially useful for women. It’s basically how to get out if you’re lying flat with your back on the ground and the bad guy is on top of you. There are a few variations: if the person is on top choking you; if the bad guy is pulling back to strike you (worst-case scenario!); and if the bad guy is down low on top of you with your head in a headlock.

One of the best lessons I learned from jiu jitsu was to not ever get in a situation in which I’d need to use it. I realized from sparring with guys twice my weight that men are very strong and that size does matter, regardless of what people say. Having a little something in the back pocket is helpful in a contentious situation. I hear a lot of people say they “just froze” when attacked. Martial arts training, if done regularly and in a good program, can make a reaction to being assaulted reflexive. In my program we used to have a night in which we did something called “fight simulation.” We’d practice what to do if attacked. It was awesome. And a great workout. Fighting is a skill in which knowledge is power.

#4 Use weapons. I carry mace when I run. It’s enough to get someone off me and to at least give me a head start. When hiking the state park alone with my dog (during daylight), I carry a hidden revolver on my hip. I’ve trained with it enough to feel confident using it at close range if I had to. A bounty hunter told me that most gun uses in the civilian realm are within 7 feet. Guns are a great form of self-defense. Again, a bad day if this is needed. But I do feel better hiking knowing I have one on me.

#5 Choose your friends wisely – A lot of people get into deep trouble by keeping poor company. Your spouse can ruin your life too. Take time getting to know people – I recommend doing so in large groups. Be careful who you’re alone with – whose car you get in and whose house you visit.

#6 Employ common sense – Be aware of your surroundings. I’ve heard a legit martial arts instructor say that some predators simply target victims who look a certain way. Women who have better posture (more erect, confident) are less likely to be attacked in a parking lot. A word of wisdom from former military man Pat McNamara: scan the horizon before you proceed – whether you’re stepping out of your house or getting out of your car. A big part of taking a bad guy down is seeing him before he sees you. Know what’s going on around you. Know where the exit is, where the fire extinguisher is, where the AED is, etc.

#7 Imagine – I haven’t heard any experts mention this one, but it’s something I do. I imagine a worst-case scenario. While hiking, some guy hops out of the bushes and tries to drag me to his camp. A scumbag runs toward me in the parking lot in an attempt to steal my purse. An angry patient tries to pin me to the wall of an exam room and choke me to death. Someone breaks into my house when I’m home alone. I imagine myself pulling mace and using it; running; using a jiu jitsu move to escape a situation; shooting my gun.

Prevention is always the best thing when it comes to self-defense. By not drinking, by staying physically fit, by choosing my peers wisely and keeping my husband nearby when out and about, by carrying a weapon or two, by being aware of my surroundings, and by having a few martial arts techniques under my belt, I hope to never end up on Dateline. ~