God is good at gift giving. Think about John 3:16, probably the most quoted verse in the whole Bible: “For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” And Matthew 7:11-12 (Jesus speaking): “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

I admire people who are good gift givers. It’s not my forte. I often wish it were, especially at Christmas. Some people have a knack for just knowing what another person needs or wants. My husband and I actually stopped exchanging gifts (in the traditional sense) some time ago. Gift giving was a room for offense in our marriage – crazy as that sounds. One Valentine’s Day before we were married, I gave him what I thought was a nice gift: a forest green shower curtain for his house. Thankfully neither of us is into stuff. He values quality time and I’m a fan of words of affirmation (see the book on Love Languages).

I know God gives good gifts. I’ve experienced it. And I think it makes Him happy. Have you ever experienced that? Giving a gift and watching somebody really light up when they received it? It’s probably one of the coolest things ever – being on the giving end. It’s the heart behind it: My husband is such a better gift giver than I am. He’s given me things over the years that have really provided me a boost in life: a beautiful refurbished laptop (in perfect working order) when I was in college, an i-pod back when those were cool, these microwaveable slippers called Hot Booties (which we later renamed Burnt Booties after I microwaved them too long) that I wore when we lived in our freezing apartment, a Garmin watch when I was training for my first half marathon. The guy has a heart that likes to help people and meet their wants and needs.

Here lately my husband and I have finally started to see what God’s given us. It’s taken a year or so. I think God’s been clever here – it really delights my heart to think about it. It’s in regard to our occupations. God, the gift giver, knows us well: our struggles, our insecurities, our vulnerabilities, our likes and dislikes, our desires. Work is a big part of life, but it’s not everything. It’s certainly a blessing to feel fulfilled at work. Richard and I have both worked really hard to get where we are in life and people have gifted us along the way: with financial support, grants, teaching, mentoring, etc. We’re those Border Collie, type A, gazelle-intense people who are super driven, who want to be “the man,” who want to excel in the workplace. I thrive on having feedback. The approval of other people fuels my efforts. I need to know I’m doing a good job. Richard likes to take charge of things, create order out of the chaos, save the day, be everyone’s savior.

Yet here we are. I work a job that, ironically, has no yearly performance review. There are no customer satisfaction scores. I never meet with my supervisor. I have no relationship with the person who signs my paycheck. I hardly ever see administration/HR people. There is no auditing of my work. This drove me nuts for some time. I even pointed some of these things out to one of the top people in the company last year when we met per my request. She wasn’t moved by my passionate polemic at the time. I was told, “Quality is an easy word” when I brought up that I reduced my work load (and pay) so that I could focus on doing a better job. Wow.

My husband took a $12,000 pay cut because his former job in which he was “the man” was killing him. He couldn’t sleep, had gastrointestinal issues, and some mild depression from it. We didn’t see each other much and he was surrounded by co-workers (even during “off” hours) who didn’t share similar values. Now, he has a job in which he gets to be outside instead of underground and he gets to work a good bit from home. This forces him to relax. He’s not salary, is never on call. His boss checks in to make sure he’s not being overworked. He’s surrounded by co-workers who take their walk with Christ seriously.

We both enjoy our work. I’ve started to relax knowing that HR is not even monitoring my performance. I no longer have heart palpitations and panic attacks. My husband’s gut has healed and he sleeps at least 9 hours a night.

Believe me, we’ve both looked for ways out of this. I’ve had multiple interviews at organizations that will let me be a workaholic and where I’ll have access to hundreds of customer reviews and meet with my manager monthly to be scrutinized. My husband could go work 60+ hours a week and save failing departments. But why, we’ve asked ourselves. Have you ever tried genuinely giving someone a gift and they ask you, “are you sure you want me to have it?” Or, they won’t take it? I think that hurts the giver.

We’re taking what God is giving us right now. We have wonderful jobs and great employers. We’re happy to do the work we do. Financially it’s plenty. Our health and marriage and extracurricular activities are in sync. As Jesus said, ask. We’ve asked the Lord. And He’s answered. He’s provided what we need. The current set up allows us to have quality time together. And I think the lack of “attagirl” from corporate is God’s way of telling me, “chill out” and “you can’t earn my love.” Thanks, Father. ~