Will you forgive me

I’m guilty like all the rest

I have a hard time being around everyone

Even if I try my best

I sip water compulsively

No wine – they might look at me

I judge everyone in the room

As my shoulders stoop

I hope the time to leave comes soon

I try to talk to as few people as I can

The hospitable host

The kindest man who looked me in the eye like a father would

He gave words of insight like he knew I could use them

The lady who gave the toast

The two guys on the couch – so warm toward me

The nurse in the tacky sweater – lovely

But I labeled each as something else

Forgive me

For You’re in each one

They’re complex

Wonderful creations

But despite the glowing lights and our sweaters and drinks

There’s something awry, I think

I start with me – there’s an undeniably wicked duplicity

Though I sparkle outwardly, You see underneath

You know why I’m anxious here

As I judge and worry

As I hurry

I was thinking this morning that You may have been there last night

Looking much different than I ever expected

But I could see it in retrospect

Like 2000 years ago when You showed up among so many

No barrier You didn’t cross

No culture could keep You at bay

No transgression could get in the way

Of Your love

I think I saw You last night

Thanks for showing up even though I was slow to see it

I trust You’ll break down this anxiety, patch up this brokenness

Through Your spirit

I receive forgiveness

And can learn to love these people around me

As well as myself

And see what You see

You’ll make us all shine in and out

If we believe