I’ve never been much of a risktaker. Why disrupt the status quo? Why tamper with what works?

I’ll admit that sometimes I sort of envy those who can take flight on a whim. You know, that friend who can hop the train to D.C. for a weekend just to experience something new. Or the sibling who can see a good deal on something like a car – and get it without much thought. The warmhearted neighbor who can’t resist a stray cat, even if it’s a creature that would make the Grinch vomit.

I’m guilty of thinking things over too much. I’ve had a pretty great set up for the past five years, and I’ve worked hard to get here. Life finally has a rhythm, after many years in which it didn’t. After a lot of hard work, I’m finally competent at my job. I’m happy. But the dilemma is this: I think I’d be better somewhere else. I envision myself immersed in something else – a different career. It might very well pay less and I may have to start all over. But it’s at a local hospital that’s nationally recognized. I could be a researcher. Just hearing the word brings happiness.

Sure, I don’t know much about designing a study, scouting out participants, collecting data, running statistics, figuring out what it all means in the end. But boy does it sound fun to find out.

What if I could use my skills and strengths to answer a clinical question that would improve the delivery of health care? What if I could feel alive in my 9-5 job?

The unknown is scary. But it beckons me. Leave my cushy, familiar, good paying, respectable job to go do something completely new? Change employers? Start anew? With a chance to grow? Get my doctorate? Work with some brilliant minds?

I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff. I can hear my risk taking best friend saying, “Jump!” and my husband who knows me best saying, “Take it!”

It’d be a shame to look back and wonder, “What if?” ~