This sounds morbid but I like to read the obituaries. In fact, it’s become a part of my daily routine.  Most of them don’t say how the person died. Some do explicitly – cancer, Alzheimer’s, heart attack, car accident. Others imply: “He finally found peace after a long battle with depression.” Some people are old. Some are young. Too young. You know when there’s that word – “unexpectedly.” He died unexpectedly. I guess this means death is expected for others. Or death was at least seen coming.

I was thinking today as I read the obituary of a prominent 99-year-old man that I wish I could read my obituary. Talk about a strange wish. But what if we all gave it some thought? I remember several years ago I read on a sign outside of a church: “Live so that they won’t have to lie at your funeral.” I found this to be both funny and disquieting. Reading obituaries every day also invokes some interesting feelings – a combination of “What am I doing with my life?” and impending doom, among other things.

We’re all fading away, like a sunset or a leaf in late October. Even those of us in our “prime.” Movie stars, businessman, blue collar laborers, young and old, rich and poor alike. Death will come for all of us. Our flesh will dissolve. Our breath will leave us. Our strength and wit will seep out of us like sap from a sickly tree, till it’s all gone. Someone will bag our lifeless bodies and someone else will put them into the ground. If we’re fortunate, one or two people might mourn over us. If we’re more fortunate, people will celebrate the lives we lived.

The end will come for each of us. Death should be expected. We may not have much say in when but we do get a say in what our obituaries will look like (assuming we choose our friends wisely and don’t exasperate our family members while we’re here). I enjoy reading about people who attained formal education. I love reading about those who married their high school sweetheart and stayed married to him/her for 40+ years and raised kids and grandkids and great grandkids. I like reading about people who poured out their talents for others. Some were known most for their encouraging words, their smile, or the open door to their home or even their open checkbook. What a great way to be remembered. When I read about very old people, I’m comforted not in remembering them in their decrepit state but rather when they were alive – hiking the Alps, snorkeling in the Caribbean, running marathons, surfing, gardening. Better yet, I love when obituaries highlight the quotidian points of a person’s life, carried out with grace: “She was a faithful wife of 60 years;” “He was a loving father; “He was a great employee;” “She was a helpful friend and neighbor.” 

I’d rather not be known for unkindness, grudge-holding, worrying, complaining, neglecting my family, or workaholism. We’re all writing our own obituaries every day – in how we live. It’s not about being remembered. I think it’s about living while we’re here and making the world better. We certainly have the ability to do the opposite. People can get off into some weird stuff here but I find truth and inspiration in the words and life of Christ, who undoubtedly is (I say is, not was because He didn’t stay dead) one of the most influential people in history. His life and death – and subsequent life – inspires mine. His obituary, found in the New Testament, is my favorite. I’m utterly captivated by it. It’s the story of unfailing love, immeasurable compassion, and overwhelming mercy. It’s the power to completely remake human hearts and minds. And I feel as if His obituary isn’t really an obituary, but an interlude between history and the new creation, when He will set all things right and crush death, tombstone, grave, and obituary once and for all. Isn’t this what the human condition yearns for?

Until then, I’ll make every effort to draft an honorable eulogy for myself, by living well, and not for the sake of hubris but to inspire those who might one day read it and to enrich the lives of the people I have the privilege of sharing in, and, most importantly, to honor the Creator to whom we will all return and give an account. I encourage you to do the same. ~