I drove to your house yesterday

Interstate and back roads

A Sunday afternoon in May

Dinner with you and your husband

But not like how it used to be

Your husband is new

The house is too

You show us your house

And you seem happy

I try to be too                                                                                                                                         

But wish we could rewind and tell the truth

Even now in the present I have doubts

I’m not sure if this is real

Or if this is permanent

Words were said but were they what was meant

Broken promises

Confusion and sadness in the wake

I give you a card and smile

There’s an awkwardness

My gut tells me something’s amiss

But I keep it to myself

I can’t say if the current situation is a mistake

And I’m not sure two years wasn’t enough of a while

How is good friendship like sweet perfume

Then like shattered glass

Still shiny but broken

Cutting those that pass

My heart is cracked open

Bleeding and tearing

Ever peering

Ever hoping

Hoping we can reassemble the pieces and repair the cracks

Call the unspoken friend back

Commune at the table like before

This time remove the facades

Grapple when needed

Talk more with God

If we had the first time

Maybe we’d have succeeded

There’s some wounds here

Unattended

Never comprehended

Can we travel back

Back to your old house

On a Sunday afternoon

It was closer

He was there

Coffee, sunlight, fresh air

Laughter

It doesn’t seem too long gone

But with a new ring on your finger I think I may be wrong

I miss how it was

I’m missing you

My other friend too

I hope you’re both okay

Happy somehow

But like shattered glass

I fear we’re all our own fragmented shards now