I’m in an ocean

But it’s not blue

Unless you consider the actual blues

Depression and the color of the pills we use to treat it

Panic surrounds me

I feel defeated

There’s little sun

Behind these four walls and the computer screens

The people here look to me

But I’m no one

The constant barrage of information makes me want to scream

There are no waves

Unless you consider

How some of these people behave

Or the mentorship I so desperately crave

What’s left of my soul is beginning to wither

And there’s no sand here

Just white coats and cold floors

No warmth or comfort

This may be more of a cesspool

Considering what we’ve become

Bright lights and big words

Expensive drugs and fancy machines

Lifesaving for some

Bankruptcy for most

Excess is killing from coast to coast

For the workers shattered dreams

Esteem and hefty salaries

Rushing to meet quotas

Paperwork and red tape

Administration

Do they know I’m a fake?

Did I think I’d find compassion here?

Or Justice?

If I were you, I wouldn’t trust us

I think the goodness has largely disappeared

I don’t want to become contaminated too

I’ll swim here while I can

Work away intently to meet the demands

Acquire knowledge where it can be found

Throw a life raft to a few

As the pills and the patrons, phones and keyboards make their sounds

Try not to drown

I’ll look at your ears and hear your heart

I’ll hear you and know you

For it’s a start

The ocean is pretty and captivating

Despite the sea snakes

The insurance companies and profiteers

How many are they enslaving

I’m treading water

Nearly drowning in these overwhelming fears

But I’m hanging on because I’ve learned to fight

I’m bringing the sun and towels

I’ll make what I can right